Breaking Faith (Glass and Iron Series)

Hi Readers and Writers,

Welcome back for another eight sentence snippet for Weekend Writing Warriorsย and Snippet Sunday. In the coming weeks I’ll be alternating between my two series, so we’re making a switch from Bartholomew and Famine to a short prequel I’m writing as part of the Glass and Iron Series. This story predates the events of the first novel in the series,ย Girl Under Glass.


Credit: lucasmalta/

Credit: lucasmalta/

Ehtishem lowered his scope. Not here.

The ragged, little tent city hugged the valley walls below him, and if the woman he sought was among its occupants, she was well hidden. He sat back on his heels and took in the valley. The green of pine-covered hills was broken by yellow, orange, and red hues as maples and alders braced for winter. He wore short sleeves, but nights demanded heavy clothing now that summer had fled the U.S. Pacific Northwest Sector.

Heโ€™d watched this encampment for two days, seen nine men, fourteen women, six boys, two small girls, and two infants. But none of the women resembled the girl in the photograph that he carried in his jacket; none of them had dark green eyes.


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  • asfenichel

    Wow! I have no idea what’s about to happen but I really want to know. LOL. Great job with this teaser.

  • ldsmith1818

    great excerpt! I liked how you used his clothing and environment to set up his character.

  • He’s certainly detail oriented and persistent. I’m intrigued, great story going on here and a terrific snippet!

  • Must be a pretty powerful scope if he can discern eye color. And are maples indigenous to the Pacific Northwest?

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Alien tech, so, yes, powerful. And lots of maple trees up here, indeed. They’re all turning and making the world colorful. (I love Pac. NW falls.) ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Nice imagery in your snippet. I can feel his anticipation and frustration.

  • Beautiful tension, imagery and detail in so few words – wonderfully done. and what Asfenichel said above – can’t wait to find out what comes next. Great 8.

  • siobhanmuir

    Wow, intense snippet and you convey so much in such a short time. Nicely done, Monica. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Tenacious and scary man. Sper eight.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Tenacious, yes. Scary? Only if you get on his bad side. ;D

  • I’m SO glad I made it to your page! Write faster!! Woot! Ehtishem…~sigh~ I think he might be one of my favorite fictional characters. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Aw, you say the nicest things, Teresa! Good ole Ehtishem. He’d be humbled by your praise though he wouldn’t show it.

  • Very interesting snippet. I find your book, Girl Under Glass, and this story intriguing to say the least. Thanks for sharing.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thanks, Lynn! I appreciate your kind words. ๐Ÿ˜€

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