Category Archives: editing

Six Sentence Sunday: Misogynistic Bastard

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Welcome back to another Six Sentence Sunday installment. The tension edit on Girl Under Glass is almost complete and I’m feeling good about the book. (Of course, I’m also sleep deprived, so this could all be an hallucination. Oh, look! Pink elephants!)

The following conversation between Rachel and her daughter follows the death of a friend in childbirth; the woman’s husband, Michael, is to blame.

——

“Why didn’t Michael send Adam sooner?”

Because he’s an evil, misogynistic bastard who deserves to have his testicles diced. “I don’t know, Pearl, I really don’t know.”

“Didn’t he love her?

We passed through the gate and I shivered; I’d forgotten my shawl in Mary’s room. “No, I don’t think he did.”

——

As always, I encourage you to visit Six Sentence Sunday for many more fantastic snippets from a talented group of writers.

Six Sentence Sunday: Persistence

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Welcome back, Sixers.

It’s been a tough few days as I worked through a tricky, sticky bit of editing on Girl Under Glass involving the epi-genome and transposable elements. It made my brain hurt. I think this week’s six, er seven, reflects my mood.

This is part of a mid-book scene in which Rachel and Ehtishem discuss his people and why they came to Earth.
———

He closed the book and sat up, capturing me with his gaze. “You survive, Rachel. Despite denial of food, proper shelter, aid. Why do you persist? Why not give up?”

His emotionless words triggered pride, rage, and a concrete certainty that I must protect my child. “Pearl.”

———-
Remember to stop by Six Sentence Sunday to find links to lots of other fine writers and their six sentences.

Thanks, and have a terrific week.

Six Sentence Sunday: The Greater Enemy

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Welcome back, Sixers! Thanks for all the fabulous comments on last week’s Girl Under Glass post. Now that our household move is over, I’m gaining speed on the edits. About 3/4 thru and getting feedback from my crit group. So today’s post introduces Ehtishem’s nemesis, Zosh Uahdim Isphahan. The child he speaks of is Rachel’s six-year-old daughter, Pearl.

Enjoy and don’t forget to visit Six Sentence Sunday for more fabulous writing.
—–

“I couldn’t care less what happens to your little souvenir. But her child seems adequately intelligent; I’m keeping her as my Dathusha messenger.”

My stomach twisted.

Ehtishem shrugged. “Well, if she doesn’t work out, I’ll take her off your hands.”

“If she doesn’t work out, I’ll blow her out the airlock.”

—–
Yeah, what a bastard.

Six Sentence Sunday: Remembering Hell

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Welcome Sixers, thanks for stopping by.

Today’s Girl Under Glass post is a reminder of our past losses and a tribute to those who’ve lost their lives, their loved ones, or their freedom. One of the questions I’m exploring in this book is whether or not violence can be morally justified. (I’m not sure I’ll ever have an answer.)

—–
My gaze traveled over one white sign. Its large purple block letters proclaimed, ‘The Ohnenrai Bring Help.’ Someone had used red spray-paint to turn ‘Help’ into ‘Hell’.

I still heard thunderous Ohnenrai troopships and gunships and felt massive, bone-rattling explosions. If I closed my eyes I saw them dispersing soldiers, leveling London, New York, Buenos Aires, Istanbul, Beijing, city after city after city. I saw the White House burning, mosques crumbling, Canada afire from British Columbia to Nova Scotia.
—–

I’d love your comments and constructive criticism, and I’d love it even more if you visit as many other Six Sentence Sunday posts as possible. A little feedback goes a long way.

Six Sentence Sunday: Flower Power

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Hiya Sixers!

Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for all the comments on last week’s Six Sentence Sunday post.

To celebrate my pretty new blog theme, I pulled a scene from the middle of Girl Under Glass. Rachel is visiting a shipboard park for the first time. The woman speaking is Sree, an Ohnenran.
—–

Blood red flowers twined up, around, and over the arch and, as I halted beside her, she brushed her fingers over a cluster. The sweetest aroma filled my sinuses. I thought of honeysuckle and peaches and the white jasmine my mother grew in a terracotta pot on the back patio the year we lived in San Diego.

“What kind of flower is this?” I touched its blue-green leaves and trailed my finger along one of its twisting tendrils.

“A mahle.”

—–
Please don’t forget to visit as many other Six Sentence Sunday posts as possible. Lots of great writing awaiting your eyeballs and comments.

See ya next week!

Five of My Favorite Research Resources

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Well, that really should be “Five of My Favorite Places on That There Interweb for Finding Cool Stuff About Interesting Thing.”

#1. Wikipedia: An amazing resource for basic and, often detailed, information about almost anything. Constantly updated. With links to outside sources and examples (photos, music, etc.). If you don’t know Wikipedia, um, what rock have you been under? Beware, however, Wiki can lead to tangents galore!

#2. Google: The next stop after Wiki. Search pictures and video for reference materials. I’ve found: cars from the 1920s, 30s, and 40s; video of Thailand; 0riginal sales brochure for The Langham in New York City; photos of New York soup lines and Depression era shantytowns, and so on. Video research is particularly helpful for getting the sights, sounds, and atmosphere correct for places you’ve never visited. (Yeah, ’cause it’s pretty unlikely I went to Siam in 1906.)

#3. fashion-era: For illustrations, photos, discussion, and details of clothing, costume history, and social history affecting fashion. The site covers 1800 to modern day; it’s a bit haphazard in its site architecture, but well worth the journey. (Perfect resource for the little clothing details that grounded Matilde in the Edwardian era.) This is an addictive site.

#4. Maps: Sure you can go to Mapquest, Google Maps, and Google Earth, but The David Rumsey Map Collection is invaluable for historical research. The collection contains over 150,000 rare and antique maps from the 1700s to the 1950s; 21,000 of which are viewable online. I use the LUNA browser to navigate and view the maps. And, yes, you can enlarge the individual maps. This is heaven for me. I know, I know, I’m weird. Ooooh, David Rumsy, I love you.

#5. Google Books/Project Gutenburg/Bibliopoly: Love ‘em all, but Bibliopoly in particular; no surprise, I’m sure. It’s a database of rare and antiquarian books searchable by subject. Each entry includes a description and, in many cases, pictures of the book. (This was an invaluable resource when I was searching for books to populate Bartholomew’s shelves.) Added bonus, the books are for sale and you can see some mind-boggling prices.

Creatures of the Night Don’t Get Colds

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But, writers do. A sore throat to be exact; how ironic.

I just got off the phone with my mother (personal editor). Her parting words were, “Your writing blows me away; you’re really strong.” Wow. I mean, effing wow!!! That’s such high praise coming from someone who’s been in the industry since I was in elementary school. I can’t wait to get her notes back. I can’t wait to polish this story, I can’t wait to get Matilde’s story out to the world. Having a positive opinion from someone not directly involved with the whole process is huge. Mom had explicit instructions to tell me if it’s crap. She found one logic problem, but beyond that it’s just tightening and tweaking. Woo-hoo!

I’m going to start working on a synopsis and I’ll post it here when I have it all put together. You all will have to let me know if it pulls you in. Then I need to do an outline, which should have been simplified by using Scrivener, but the story is so complex, that it’s just not so easy to do. Argh. Then out to agents and keep your fingers crossed that the publishing world still recognizes the viability of vampires as an ongoing genre. I like to think that I’m writing the story for the readers who love Twilight, but are ready for something for adults now that they’ve aged out of YA.

I’ve tried to hit on the humanity of Matilde’s story and show how we can all control our reactions even if we can’t control our circumstances. I feel like it’s a lesson that everyone can benefit from, even if they’re only human.

Fingers crossed, folks! The first hurdle has been jumped, but the big ones loom ahead. Still, if there’s anything I’ve learned from Matilde, it’s persistence.

Monica