Famine #39: A Long Wait (WeWriWa)

Welcome back to another Weekend Writing Warriors post. Today’s eight complete the first chapter of Famine. (Yes, I think I’m gonna shorten the title to just the single word. This will be the first book in the Apocalyptics series.)

Last week, the Catcher’s crows creeped a bunch of you out and raised the question of what Bartholomew would do about that entity’s interest in eight-year-old Matilde.


file0001330232053Heโ€™d searched eleven hundred years for her. He could wait another twenty. He could protect her and see to her education. Matilde would become the Catcher. Bartholomew would be her Guardian.

Once more the crow tapped the glass. Bartholomew looked up to see it bob and duck its head then drop away from the sill. The bird swooped around and up and was joined by the rest of its murder to form a black-winged cloud that made the stars wink as it soared over and away from the Sixth Ward.


I hope you all to take a peek at the list of awesome writers posting this week at wewriwa.com. Lots of terrific snippets await your view.


On a side note, I have a sinus infection and some hacking lung plague. Spending the weekend in bed in a somewhat unsuccessful attempt to get some sleep. If I don’t make any reading rounds or replies this week, I apologize. I don’t want to cough on any of your blogs.

  • Love it. Gorgeous description of the crows movements and the murder in flight. Famine is a great title.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thanks, Kylie. Been toying with chopping the title for a while. This book has been through so many title and plot changes that it bears little resemblance to the first draft I wrote three years ago. Funny how some WIPs are like that, eh?

  • I absolutely love that last line – so intense!

  • Bartholomew. Every time I read about him I want to cry. And give him a hug.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Aw, that’s sweet, Eleri. Of course, if I’d posted from the brothel scene, hugging would not be what you’d want from him. ;D

  • Love the flow here, really beautifully crafted.
    Take care of you and I hope you start feeling better today.

  • Get well soon dahlin’.
    And the snippet was “amazing, intriguing, and disturbing!!”

  • Hope you’re feeling better soon. Nice snippet!

  • daezarkian

    Terrific stuff. I especially liked that last line!

  • I’m with the the bunch. WOW! Only 20 years? Not nearly enough for young unsuspecting Mathilde.

  • I still think the crow is a little creepy, and I usually like birds. I like the comparison of the 20 years to eleven hundred.

  • historysleuth1

    Liking this story. Very intriguing and creepy!

  • The crows are a wonderfully creepy touch. I’m glad he isn’t going to hurt her.

  • This excerpt gave me the chills…

  • His new plan is interesting, to say the least. I’m wondering if the current Catcher is going to go along with it.v Highly intriguing – terrific excerpt in a spell binding story.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Very insightful, Veronica. The Catcher has plans of her own, to be sure. Thanks!

  • Just lovely. I’ve always loved the term ‘a murder of crows’

  • Loved the description of the murder of crowsโ€“lovely. I’m also glad he’s decided to wait for Matilde to grow up, it shows us a lot about his character. Feel better soon.

  • Lovely imagery. Beautifully written.
    I hope you feel better soon!

  • Whew!

    Now I like Bartholomew. ๐Ÿ™‚ And this move sets up the story!

    Nice. ๐Ÿ™‚

    And…dang! I didn’t want you coughing on my blog anyhow. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Seriously, feel better, sweetie.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thanks, hon. And I understand your worries about Bartholomew, his motives and actions can be a bit tricky.

  • *sigh of relief* Somehow I knew he wouldn’t kill her. I do need to ask one thing (which I do not expect you to answer, spoilers and all that): when the little one becomes the catcher, will she be as big a b….bad person as Claire is by virtue of being a catcher, or does her own personality determine how she will act?

    I know murder is the proper collective noun for a group of crows, but it’s a little spooky to read that after he’s just decided against killing her. Which is actually kind of a good thing, I think.

    • P.S. Get some rest and recover. My kids are sick (again) too. And I promise not to let them cough on any blogs, per your selfless example. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Monica Enderle Pierce

        Filthy, little kidses. (Where do you think I got the plague? I had a sick little hobbit of my own for two weeks this month.)

        I will answer your question, sorta.
        First, to clarify, Claire isn’t the Catcher, she’s Famine incarnate, but not empowered. And lets just say that Matilde is now and always will be quite capable of putting the smack-down on anyone she perceives to be her enemy.

  • siobhanmuir

    Great imagery, Monica. I particularly liked your use of the word “murder”. Not many folks use it to describe a gathering of crows, and it adds to the sinister overtones. Great job. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Wow, I just wanna say this book sounds so interesting. It is my kinda book and I’d definitely buy it. I hope you are able to finish it soon. I love the world you’ve built. If I might ask, how did you come up with such an elaborate story? I’m always fascinated to know how other writers come up with their ideas ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyway, I can’t wait to see what happens next. Oh, and I hope you feel better. It’s never fun trying to write when you are sick ๐Ÿ™

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Aw, thanks! I love my characters and world too.
      I’ve been toying with this story for about three years. It originally was conceived as vampire fiction, but the more research I did into symbolism and world mythology, the more it evolved. I think this is my fourth or fifth rewrite, but this one’s a complete tear-down and overhaul. Thanks for asking. ๐Ÿ˜€
      And I appreciate the well wishes. Writing’s always fun, plague or not, but I’d sure like to stop coughing. My ribs hurt.

  • I LOVE that the crow — as creepy as he/she/it is — is in agreement with Bartholomew. Or maybe he/she/it has just resigned himself/herself/itself to the fact that he/she/it is creepy. Who knows. *Shrugs*. Fly away, creep face, and take your tap tapping with you.

    On a different note… Kick that cold’s azz, Monica! Give it to the creepy crow. (Sorry, tried to keep the little jerkface out of it but I just had to wish ill on him…)

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      LOL! Keeley, the crow says, “Bbbbbllllpppphhhhhh!”

  • Love the description of the crows as they circled in the sky. Fantastic stuff, and a murder of crows always sounds so menacing.

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