Famine #49: Coquette (Weekend Writing Warriors)

Happy weekend and Happy Mothers Day, Weekend Writing Warriors and friends! Got my Famine cover shoot rescheduled, so I’m back on the road to getting some great marketing shots for Show and Tell.

In the meantime, the random scene pick for this week follows. Matilde (now 15) has just gotten busted by Bartholomew. She was in his study, the one room in the house that’s strictly off limits to her.

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This work is in the public domain in the European Union and non-EU countries with a copyright term of life of the author plus 70 years or less.

This work is in the public domain in the European Union and non-EU countries with a copyright term of life of the author plus 70 years or less.

She bit her lip and looked up at him from beneath her lashes. “Please?” Her whispered word was soft and sensual, and it made his ire soar.

“Do not act like a coquette with me. You are not your mother, Matilde.”

Her chin jerked up, and she snapped, “My mother worked hard.”

“Your mother was a drunken harlot who beat her children. You are better than that, and I will not tolerate you acting like a criminal or a whore.”

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Harsh.

Remember to stop by the official Weekend Writing Warriors list for links to lots of other writing samples.

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  • Whoa that’s harsh but the truth is often hard to accept and B apparently knows how to handle her. Nice snippet!

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thanks, Ryan. Bartholomew tries, and Matilde’s determination is an asset, though sometimes he wants to throttle her because of it.

  • Yikes! Bartholomew pulls no punches, that’s for sure. 🙂

  • Harsh indeed. But powerful. And a segue into Mother’s Day!

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Admittedly not the nicest Mother’s Day snippet I could find, Cara. LOL!

  • Lots of power in both of their words. Very interesting snippet. I can see them staring each other down after the last line too. Fabulous.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thanks, S.J. She may be a fraction of his age, but Bartholomew definitely has met his match in Matilde.

  • That was harsh but it caught my interest. Great snippet.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thanks, Elyzabeth. Just Bartholomew’s usual straightforwardness, much to Matilde’s great displeasure.

  • It’s really a man point of view against a woman point of view.
    I can really feel the tension.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Not exactly. Her mother really was all those things though, admittedly, a victim of her circumstances in 1899. (It’s not the harlot part he objects to, FYI. Hmm, which makes me think that, perhaps, I should remove that. Thanks, Linda!)

  • Harsh, yes, but I kind of liked that he called her on her BS, and expects more from her.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Yep. He’s in danger of caring about her and acting like a father, Shannyn. Thanks for commenting.

  • Oh my, didn’t see that coming. Maybe she ought not to try the flirtatious thing with him! Excellent excerpt!

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Definitely not, Veronica. Bartholomew never reacts well to manipulation. Thanks!

  • Wow, I didn’t expect that ending, but it’s perfect. Great job, Monica!

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thanks, Jess! (And this is just the beginning of the fireworks.)

  • So nice to be called sweet cheeks again. 😉

    Yeah, that’s a bit harsh but it may be the best way to get through to her. Teenage girls can be tough to deal with. And now she knows a line she shouldn’t cross. What was she doing in there anyway?

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Anytime, Hot Lips. 😉

      Matilde’s will is what he loves and loathes about her. She was snooping through the books on his barrister shelf, trying to discover his real name. (He’s kept it from her for her own protection.)

  • Fireworks–but he can’t draw a line and let it be crossed.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Exactly, Sue. Although Matilde’s motives are more complicated than mere curiosity. Thanks for your comment!

  • Harsh, but probably for her own good.

  • He tries to put her in the proper place. Looking forward to ‘what happens next in the battle. Good eight!

  • Wow! Powerful! There she was, using her very young womanly wiles to try and work him, and he gave her a verbal slap-down. I’m still not sure about Bartholomew. 🙂 Good 8, Monica!

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      He’s out of his element when it comes to dealing with a little girl, let alone a teenager. Sick a horde of raveners on him, and he’s got it covered. A girl trapped between childhood and womanhood? That’s an entirely different and baffling situation. Thanks, Teresa!

  • Oh, LOVE. Look forward to seeing cover art for this soon. Hope all is going well.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thanks, Kylie! You and me both on the cover art! I’m well, but busy, as always. Hope you’re doing well, too. 🙂

  • Something about this passage makes me like Matilde even more… now to become a bit for cunning. 😉

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      She’ll need that cunning if she’s gonna survive. 😉

  • Interesting dynamic here. I like that she was willing to risk Bartholomew’s wrath. Spunky!

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Spunky is a good description, Debbie. It’s what he loves and hates about her. (And thanks for the Tweet! Much appreciated.)

  • siobhanmuir

    I like her efforts (of course she learned from her mother) and I liked his response. There are much better ways to get what you want. Nicely done, Monica. 🙂

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