Famine #59: So Many Spirits

Hello readers and writers! After taking a much-needed break last weekend, I’m back with another eight sentences from Famine, my historical urban fantasy, for Weekend Writing WarriorsΒ and Snippets Sunday.

It’s night aboard a transcontinental train bound for San Francisco, and Bartholomew is searching for a man who has made the mistake of garnering his displeasure.


ByteStudio Photography; Jacob Cartwright

ByteStudio Photography; Jacob Cartwright

As he walked he brushed his fingers along the hem of the heavy curtains that enclosed the sleeping berths. Behind them were so many spirits. He paused and felt for dreams. They skimmed his soul, leaving impressions more than pictures. Here was joy, there satisfaction. Worry tainted this one and lust colored a great many others.

He moved on. This was not the correct car.


There you go. I’m working through editorial notes and hope to have this sucker ready for beta readers by the end of the month. Thanks!


And don’t forget to check out the other snippets posted for Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday. Share the love and comments.

  • A beautiful snippet! I’m really curious to read more… Bartholomew intrigues me πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Thank you, Alex!

  • I love the dreams “skimmed his soul.”

  • Love it. Beautiful prose, and very easy to imagine. The way lust is most common adds an element of flavour that just brings the whole scene together. You have a lovely way with words.

  • ” He paused and felt for dreams.”
    Great line and great 8!

  • Every time you give us eight of Bartholomew, I become more fascinated by him. I’m in danger of crushing on this man, and I have no idea where his loyalties are . . .

    (he has the perfect name, but I’m having problems typing Bartholomew just once or twice—did it get easier, or did you nickname him Bart to keep the flow going and then do a replace, later? πŸ™‚ )

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Sorry I’m just replying now, Sarah. Bartholomew is *never* Bart, so I’ve gotten very good at typing his name. LOL! And, yeah, he’s pretty crush-worthy. πŸ˜€

  • Love the way you described this scene. Could picture it easily. Bartholomew sounds like an intriguing man. Great 8!

  • Such beautiful and fascinating writing. Fab snippet. πŸ™‚

  • daezarkian

    Such beautiful prose. Evocative, mysterious, and compelling. Nice work!

  • sharonbuchbinder

    Oh, lovely. I like how the dreams swirl around him. It’s almost like a wine tasting. Flavorful, heady, but not the right one. πŸ™‚

  • Karen Michelle Nutt

    Mysterious! I want to know more about Bartholomew! Enjoyed the snippet!

  • Definitely an intriguing character and nice scene setting. Very mysterious person Mr. Bartholomew πŸ™‚

  • Wonderful imagery of him sampling the dreams as he went. Excellent excerpt!

  • ldsmith1818

    beautifully written! I could just picture him walking along and the dreams and everything. Lovely!

  • Beautiful snippet. I take it he expects to recognize his antagonist from his dreams?

  • Ah, this is great. I could see and feel him searching for the right one, their dreams like half heard tunes. Great writing.

  • burnsmillie

    Wonderful! I love his ability to sample the dreams of others. Whoever he’s looking for should be worried…very worried.

  • asfenichel

    Very interesting! I’m looking forward to more. Well done!

  • I had to check in on Bartholomew. Yeppers. He gets more interesting as time goes on. πŸ™‚ Excellent 8. Monica! πŸ™‚

  • I wouldn’t like to displease Bartholomew, he is scary.