Famine #64: Don’t Mess with Mr. Vernon

Hellooo! I’ve been knee-deep in editing for the last few weeks, but the tension edit is complete on Famine. To celebrate, and because we’ve not visited with Bartholomew for a while, I thought I’d post a bit from his story for Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Bartholomew’s valet, Mr. Vernon, has been challenged to a fistfight by a bigot:

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DixieKid_2“Prepare to be knocked down to your proper place, Jim Crow.” Mr. White, bound knuckles up and pumping, danced about Mr. Vernon like an irksome flea.

Bartholomew stifled the urge to swat the man flat. His valet required no aid to quash the contemptible idiot.

The American hopped forward, and his fist connected with his towering opponent’s jaw. However it did not have the anticipated effect. The valet’s stony expression didn’t waver. But Mr. White’s sneer did.

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Whoops. Mr. White may have overestimated his prowess and certainly has underestimated Mr. Vernon.

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For more snippets, check out this week’s lists of participants at Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors.

  • Liked the flea analogy.
    Nice 8!

  • Also, I meant to add, analogies are so much better than adverbs!

  • Excellent snippet. Loved the “irksome flea” description. I so pictured that in my mind. 🙂 I enjoy your writing style, very clean, yet visual. Well done!
    History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders

  • asfenichel

    Very interesting snippet. Well written.

  • The flea analogy is good, and so is that last sentence.

  • Mr. “White”? Nice. 🙂

    Okay, so now I’m half in love with Bartholomew and with Mr. Vernon . . . WHEN is this coming out again?

  • burnsmillie

    This is a delightful image. I can see the look on Barholomew’s face! Excellent 8!

  • This falls under the category of “Oops”. ;D Great snippet, Monica!

  • Interesting snippet. Clearly there’s a lot more to Mr. Vernon as well.

  • I have a feeling Mr. White is going to get taken down a peg.

  • Bartholomew seems to be more annoyed than Mr. Vernon. Mr Vernon seems… bored. I can’t wait for the next bit!

  • I think this is a bit more than an “oops” error…I have a feeling the American is about to have an unfortunate lesson in underestimating your opponent.

  • Hah! He’s in trouble now… 🙂

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