The Glass Asylum #4: Ball of Dust (Six Sentence Sunday)

Hi again, Sixers! Welcome back for another Six Sentence Sunday. Once more, I’m posting from my WIP, The Glass Asylum, which is the sequel to Girl Under Glass. This is a direct continuation from last week’s snippet in which Rachel reacts to the news that Ehtishem has visited a former lover. (Before we proceed, I just want to thank those of you who visit every week. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy Sundays to read my work.)
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I loved Ehtishem. And that love came with sexual devotion. But, in his culture, a trip to the Nest was no more notable than a stop for coffee.

As Khaiv stacked his empty crates, I stared out the kitchen window at the brown planet that Dathusha was orbiting — Ohnenrah. My lover’s home planet was dead. Right then I wished I could feel as lifeless as that ball of dust.

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  • Oh, Monica. My heart aches for Rachel. She seems trapped in many ways and I sense restlessness building. Hmmm.

  • I love the comparison of her heartache with the barren planet. Looking forward to reading what happens next.

  • as lifeless as the ball of dust,… you had me dying on the inside with her. Sensational!

  • Jessica Subject

    Love the emotion is this six! I hope he shows her how he really feels.

  • Love your metaphor and imagery.

  • “Right then I wished I could feel as lifeless as that ball of dust.”
    Reminds me of a line from Dylan’s “Desolation Row” —

    “Now to her, death is quite romantic
    She wears an iron vest
    Her profession is her religion
    Her sin is her lifelessness”

    Great six!

  • Terrific imagery and emotion. There’s so much depth to this story and her character. Fantastic six!

  • Eleri Stone

    Poor Rachel. Kinda pissed at Ehtishem right now.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      If it makes you feel better, Eleri, Ehtishem is as conflicted as Rachel, right now.

  • How sad. 🙁

  • These 6 are dripping with her ache without you actually telling us! Wonderful 6!

  • The sorrow is so thick and beautifully written. Wonderful 6.

  • maccrowne

    Hopeless yearning. What a terrific, poignant six!

  • I don’t dislike Ehtishem – he’s conforming to his culture – but I do feel sorry for Rachel. Nothing worse than having different notions of fidelity from the object ones devotion.

    • Monica Enderle Pierce

      Cultural pressures can be brutal, but they can also be overcome — by both lovers. 😉

  • Beautiful simile at the end of these six sentences. I can really feel her conflict and the pain her love is causing her. Great six.

  • Sad, evocative, very powerful six!

  • Great six! So sad…

  • A bleak world reflecting her bleak minset.

  • Love the tenion created by their cultural differences. Great world building, Monica. Can’t wait to read it all.

  • Nice six, I can so feel the pain.

  • siobhanmuir

    She sounds like she’s stuck in a bleak existence. Intriguing six, Monica. 🙂

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